the world is dark;; Iliana

[Nicholas Brandon]

Life was hell, straight up. The only reason he didn't drink his sorrows away because he remembered promising his brother a few days earlier if something happen he wouldn't become some raging alocholic. Plus, Nick knew that if he let himself drink away his sorrows even just once that he would let it get the best of him. Ever so often he'd have a few shots or a drink here and there just to numb it, but thats as far as he would ever allow it to go.

Walking into the burger joint he figured this was a better place to force himself to go than the bar. Plus he was a little hungry after his shift. Finding a place to sit he didn't bother with a menu just asked for the regular burger and fries with a chocolate milk. He half smiled at the waitress as she took his order and then rushed of to put it through. It was just now he had taken in his surroundings the joint was approximately half full, mostly kids messing around. He did noticed they had calmed down a bit when he came in, probably because they knew he was the town sheriff now.

Looking down at Rex he gave the dog a pat. He had appreciated that owners had told them to bring Rex in and they'd cook him up a meal. Nick had been planning to leave him outside when the owners told him this. It was great the town was so welcoming that definitely made life easier. Looking at Rex he smiled at the dog, he was the only one that really understood him. He was there...well not right there but he was on the base at the time training with him.

The dog had placed himself by Nicks feet and was lying quietly watching the kids play wagging his tail lightly. That dog adored kids, but these ones were a little to fearful to come ask to play with the dog, not to mention they were indoor and it really wouldn't be approriate to play at this time.

It didn't take long for his burger to arrive. He thanked the waitress as she set down some cooked ground beef and rice for Rex as they bother started digging into their meal...Nick was starving. And apparently so was Rex.

[Iliana Beaudean]

Outfit

Iliana came through the doors to Burger Heaven with Lily, resting in her carrier that hung in Iliana's hand. Brooke Haven's finest burger joint. It was a pretty regular hang out spot for the kids. Willow Brooke and Brooke Haven High students alike. She had a particular fondness for their BLT Cheeseburger and onion rings. They made the best onion rings here.

Today was a fairly slow day, so she was dressed a little more on the casual side today. As long as her mother didn't have any conferences press meetings, she didn't seem to mind when Iliana showed up in her casual clothes. She usually dressed them up a little with a vest or something though. She carefully set the dozing baby down on the bar counter for the waitresses to oogle over. "The usual, Annie." She told one of the waitresses, who quickly scribbled the order out and left it for the cook in the back to handle. The usual for Iliana was the BLT Cheeseburger on a wheat bun with onion rings and a strawberry milk-shake.

As for the three month old baby in tow, well that wasn't such an unusual sight around town when it came to Iliana Beaudean. She took that baby everywhere she went. She was back at Town Hall working with Lily in tow when the baby was just barley a week old. Iliana just didn't have the heart to part with the little baby. Lily was the light of Iliana's eyes and she just couldn't bring herself to leave the baby at a day care center or with a baby sitter, but she liked working too. It was just about the only way to keep her mind off of Willie and the many worries that she had.

She smiled and chatted with the waitresses for a couple of minutes before she picked up the carrier and went to a booth. The waitresses liked to tickle and coo over the baby a little whenever Iliana came in with Lily, and Iliana didn't mind so much. It was a nice way to keep people from asking about Willie. She stopped when she came upon the newest member to the town. "You're Nicholas Brandon right?" She asked with a gentle tilt of her head. She looked to the dog, smiling faintly as he chowed down on his beef and rice.

The big news around town with Nicholas was that he got away from the big city because of some sort of accident if she wasn't mistaken. Of course that was mostly idle gossip and there was no telling what of it was true and what wasn't. Iliana hadn't really gotten a good look at him up until now, and she couldn't deny he was rather dishy.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Looking up from his burger his blue eyes looked over the girl who was standing in front of him with a baby in tow. Setting down his burger he wiped off his face and smiled, "Yes..." pausing for a moment, "And I'm afraid I don't know who you are?" he smiled sheepishly. He always felt bad when people knew who he was but he didn't know who they were. He'd been on the other side too, knowing someone and them not knowing you and it could be awkward at times, not at other times. Considering he was new to town he figure it likely wouldn't be awkward, after all she had approached him.

Moving a few of his things there were across for him he pointed to the other side of the booth, "You're welcome to sit if you like" he really didn't mind the company. In fact eating lunch with someone would be nice, sure he didn't necessarily want to be here, but he also didn't want to be lonely here while he was stuck here. Being alone could really tear someone apart, it was too much thinking time. This is why Rex was great, he wouldn't ever let Nick think to long without looking for attention.

Looking down to Rex he smiled, the dog had sat up now and was watching the baby like a hawk. His tail wagging like crazy. Unconsciously he reached out and put his hand on the dogs head, and the dog rest his head on Nick's knee still watching the baby. "Sorry he has some sort of obsession with kids..." Nick look down at his dog fondly. "Put a criminal in front of him and he'd gladly tear them to pieces, and then you put a kid in front of him and he'll roll over and be the most tolerant dog ever" That had always fascinated him about Rex, how big that change was.

But maybe Nick wasn't so far off from that either. He was truly a good guy, messed up at this point in his life, but before that. He treated everyone and every civillian with as much respect and patience as he could. Yet put a terrorist in front of him and he didn't have to think about shooting them. Now those memories tormented him, the real world gave him too much time to think and too much time to realize everything he had done over there. This is why he desperately wanted to go back, so he could heal. Although that hadn't worked either, everytime he tried to train to go back over there he broke down, be it crying or getting angry and punching another officer. He was not fit to be a captain, and thus the military sent him here to heal. Fat chance that would happen...

Looking back to the girl standing before him he waited to see if she would take a seat, then his bright blue eyes shifted to the baby. He was almost surprised to see such a young beautiful girl like that toting around a newborn, either way, he was like many men. He was tough and butch, but you put a baby in his arms and he melted like butter.

[Iliana Beaudean]

She smiled when he confirmed what she really already knew. He didn't know who she was of course. Most knew folks were known around town, but didn't know the civilians. "I'm Iliana Beaudean. Mayor Nord's assistant." She said with a sweet grin, holding out her left hand. Yes, she was a leftie and it didn't usually bother her too much. Most folks around town knew Iliana not just because of her position as the Mayor's assistant, but because Iliana had grown up in this nice little town. "I was starting to wonder if I'd ever get a good look at the new sheriff in town." She said with a grin.

She looked to the booth thoughtfully. She wouldn't want to impose upon him, but then again he was the one who invited them to join him. "Thank you. I think I would very much enjoy dining with a little more company than a baby." She smiled a little and carefully set Lily down on the inside of the booth. She brushed a soft hand along the chubby cheeks when the baby sounded out a soft little noise and shifted in her carrier. There was nothing wrong with the company of a baby, but it wasn't the same as having some grown up company. Iliana didn't get much of that at home really. It was just her and little Lily.

She looked to the dog, smiling faintly at the animal. "It's no problem. She loves animals." A small feminine hand gently reached out to the dog and allowed him to sniff her hand before she gave him a friendly scratch behind the ear. She looked back up to Nick. She looked up when Annie came over with her order. Iliana gave a soft nod of thanks and watched the waitress leave for a moment before she turned her attention back to Nick.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Nick smiled lightly at Iliana as she introduced herself. He had met the mayor the first he had had moved here and she seemed nice enough. "It's very nice to meet you". He listened to her continue on about finally meeting him and her put on a bit of a cheeky grin and spoke, "I hope I didn't disappoint" he let a light laugh escape his lips. It was true, he did hope he didn't disappoint. He really hoped there wasn't some negative image going on about him in the neighbourhood, he was sure someone had found out about his military past or would soon at least.

Moving a few things as she took a seat to give her more room he smiled. He could definitely understand that, "I know the feeling, it's nice to have a human being to talk to ther than Rex he laughed a bit as he unconscouisly gave the dog a scratch. It was clear the too had a special bond, maybe even similar to mother and child. Although Nick knew a dog could never quite compare to a child, but there was at least a similar sort of relationship between to the two.

As Iliana reached out to scratch the dog Rex moved closer too her. His eyes shifted to the waitress and his posture tensed a bit as she came near. "Easy big guy" Nick reassured the dog. It wasn't that he was worried the dog would do anything, in fact Nick knew he wouldn't as he would never attack someone without a command, but he figure if the dog eased it might make the waitress feel a little easy. After the waitress left Rex moved towards the baby and sat in front of her his tail wagging like crazy. He gently sniffed her feet a little bit but didn't really get any closer to the baby. This relieved Nick a little bit as he knew some people worried about dogs and babies.

Looking from Rex and the baby he looked to Iliana, "How old is she?" he looked curiously. He had noticed the ring on her left finger and assumed she was married. It was unfortunate for him because she was quite attractive, she might have been worth getting to know. But he was not one to step on some other mans 'turf' by any means.

[Iliana Beaudean]

She gave a faint smile and shook her head. "No disappointment yet, but I haven't seen you in action yet either." She said teasingly as she crossed one leg over the other. The big story in town was that Nicholas Brandon had served in the military. She didn't know the details, but something had happened, and Nick was a survivor of some kind of explosion or something. When she had first heard his story it hit Iliana pretty hard. It worried her. He had lived in exactly one of the many things Iliana worried about every day. She licked her lips gently after getting a sip of the milk-shake.

Deep blue eyes looked to the dog as he approached the baby and seemed to investigate Lily. Iliana was a little nervous at first, but when he showed the gentle interest she relaxed, and a soft smile tugged at her lips as she reached out and gave him another friendly scratch. Those tiny, little, pretty, blue eyes fluttered open when Lily felt the warm breath of the dog on her toes. Iliana watched for a moment as the baby shifted tried to swipe a hand out to the dog with an excited little sound. Iliana smiled and dug around in her tote bag for one of the babies rattles and smiled when she found a teething ring that rattled. Iliana handed it over to the baby who took it with much gusto and swung it about for a minute before she decided to gnaw her gums on it.

Iliana turned back to Nick with a soft grin when he asked how old she was. "Three months. She's about three months old." She answered with a gentle smile on her lips, squirting some ketchup on her plate for the onion rings. That meant it had been just nearly a year since Willie left for Iraq. It was hard to swallow that. There were days where she practically willed the phone to ring and he be on the other end of that phone line. It wasn't easy, and there were some days where she seriously questioned what she had been thinking getting married to an Army man and starting this family with him. But then she remembered. She loved him. Which was why she so terribly missed him.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Nick laughed a bit, "It's not me who's impressive its Rex" he responded. It was true, that dog definitely made him look good most of the time. "Honestly I'm not sure I'm cut out for this kind of job, I'm a soldier, not a police office" He mused half to himself. It was true, neither job was necessarily easier, but police officers had to have a lot more compassion and patience. As a soldier if someone looked threatening he could use whatever force was either to detain them. Not that Nick didn't try to treat civillians with respect, but going from a soldier to police officer was a tough change. The only nice thing was watching Rex work, he loved the police work, and honestly Nick preferred it this way... "Rex was actually in training as a bomb sniffing dog...until we came here." He finished, he knew there would likely be questions about why he had come here, and its not that he really minded, he could answer most of them without bring up his brother.

Rex moved a little bit closer to the baby sense she wanted him closer. He gently put his head on the edge of the carrier close enough for the baby to reach out and touch them. Every one of Rex's movements were slow and deliberate, at the same time you could tell he was very aware of Nick. But Nick let him move on watching the dog intently, although not really worried. Iliana hadn't seemed ot mind him too much and the baby look rather interest in him so he figured it probably wouldn't cause and issue and if it did it would not be hard to call Rex off.

Nick's attention was turned back to the baby as Iliana spoke about her age. He smield at Iliana, "She's beautiful" It was turn, Nick wasn't exactly a baby guy, mostly because they scared him. He was a soldier and he always feared that he was too rough and tough to hold a little baby. Not that he didn't want kids one day, but he didn't really think about kid much yet. Looking back to Iliana, "Had I have to say you look fabulous for just having a baby" He didn't mean as anything more than a compliment. He wasn't really hitting on her, he was just trying to be friendly, plus it was true she did look good.

[Iliana Beaudean]

A smile spread across her lips as he said he wasn't impressive. Her blue eyes studied him thoughtfully as he spoke. Well at least he was willing to be a little open about the whole soldier thing. "Well, the worst things that happen around here are either bar fights, domestic disturbances, or vandalism... so you're in for a much quieter go here in Brooke Haven than you are in some big city or on tour in Iraq or Afghanistan." Recently she had gotten to the point where she either changed the channel or turned the TV off all together if anything about Iraq or Afghanistan popped up on the news. She just couldn't handle that Willie could end up like the poor souls she saw on the news. She knew that there were things he did not tell her in his letters or during phone calls, and she knew he did that because of her. She appreciated it really. She didn't want to know what dangerous things he was doing. She just wanted to know he was safe and okay.

She looked to Rex smiling as Lily lost interest in her teething ring and practically flung it down. Iliana was quick to catch it though while Lily's attention went to the dog. A small pudgy hand patted the dog's nose, causing Iliana to wince a little at the force. The dog seemed to just take it though while the tiny hand pet over the German Sheperd's long snout. "She looks like her father." She mused softly in answer to his comment about how she was beautiful. It was true enough. She had the dark shock of hair that she had no doubt would turn choclatey brown when it thickened and grew longer. Like Willie's hair. About the only thing she inherited from Iliana were her pretty blue eyes.

She smirked at what she assumed was supposed to be a compliment. She nibbled on a ketchup covered onion ring before clearing her throat. "Most women have a tendency to just let themselves go when they're pregnant. I did my best to keep in shape so there wouldn't be too much baby fat to worry about after Lily arrived." She said conversationally as her foot bobbed rhythmically. It was true. She hadn't been one of those women to sit around and eat all day. She spent most of her pregnancy working for her mother. She never even took a maternity leave. Well she kind of had to after Lily's arrival, but it was only for about a week anyways. Iliana actually had a very nice yoga regime she did, but she had to cut back and find more suitable positions for a pregnant woman.

Why not sit back and relax and stuff her face? Because she was practically incapable of it. Iliana had always been a very active girl. Captain of the girl's fast pitch soft-ball team in the spring and summer and in the winter she played soccer as well as participated in a number of school committees and clubs. It was kind of hard for her to sit still. At least until now when her sleep schedule relied on Lily's sleep schedule.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Nick smiled a bit and laughed, "I think I can handle those...we'll see." He really wasn't overly worried about the situations it was more his reaction. "It's just going to be tough, because my instincts will get me in trouble here..." He hoped she'd understand what he meant. As a soldier you're not trained to break things up, you're trained to kill. You have to be on guard all the time when you're in a town in Iraq, you don't know who's out there to help you and who's out there to kill you. He was worried that if he got someone fighting him his instincts would take over and he would have no control. Nick found it hard to live over here; he got his realities mixed up. It was hard to let go and realize that around the next corner there isn't going to be some guy looking to blow your head off.

Rex didn't even react when the kid was being rough, he just continued to wag his tail and let the baby pull on his face hair. He was actually an extremely tolerant dog, and had the intelligence level to figure out you needed to be gentle with babies but they could be rough. Nick smiled at the baby as Iliana spoke about how she looked like her father. "Where is he?" it kind of popped out of his mouth leaving Nick to look down momentarily then back at her. "I'm sorry...you don't have to answer that if you don't want" He realize the question could be to personal and the answer might not be a good one.

Listening to her talk about how she tried t keep in shape allowed him to smile. It was nice to see some girls today cared about their image. Nick didn't think that they need to wear pounds of make up or dress fancy, but physical fitness was just healthy and it was something Nick cared about deeply. Being out of shape as a soldier would have been a death sentence, and it was just routine for him to work out on a regular basis now a days. Well you clearly did a good job keeping in shape" he smiled warmly at her.

[Iliana Beaudean]

She nodded her head weakly. Yeah she understood. There were several times where Will's instincts reacted differently to how they used to after his boot camp training. It worried her sometimes. And then there were times where he wasn't telling her something that was bothering her when they had their phone calls. She wasn't sure she wanted to either. She knew how it was there. You didn't have to set her in the middle of it for her to know what it was like.

She watched Lily and the dog for a moment. She relaxed a little more when she was sure the dog was more tolerant of children than most police dogs probably would have been. She chuckled, shaking her hand as she gently took Lily's away from the dog so that she would stop tormenting the dog. She looked to Nick and her smile faltered a little when he asked where he was. The he in question being Lily's father. "He's in Iraq, in the army. Been there for almost a year now. He's supposed to be comin' home for Easter next year." She answered gently. She didn't mind telling him about it. It was better that he get it straight from the horses mouth instead of hearing it from one of the many gossips around town who could twist up the truth and make it a bad thing. She gave a soft shake of her head. "Around these parts its better to hear from the horse's mouth than a second hand account. I'd rather you hear it from me or my mother than the local gossipers." She said informatively as she softly pet Lily's head. She smiled and looked tot he baby whe the two tiny hands brought a finger to her mouth. She sucked at the finger, gumming and sucking it gently before she released it with the realization that Iliana's finger held no milk, making those familiar baby noises she had picked up.

She looked back to Nick with a weak smile on her lips. She just gave a gentle nod of thanks as she picked up the baby and pulled out a bottle of milk from the tote bag. Iliana usually just bottle fed the baby when in public to save herself a little embarrassment. When she was in town hall her mother usually let her into her office so that Iliana and Lily could have a little privacy while Iliana breast fed her. But when they were in restaurants like this, she usually pulled out a bottle she made that morning or the night before. "You don't look so bad yourself, Officer Brandon." She said teasingly as she settled Lily in her arm and lightly brushed the nipple of the bottle against Lily's little lips. They quickly crapped around the rubber surface. Once Iliana was sure she was drinking she carefully propped the bottle against her chest so that she could at least eat her onion rings or sip at her milk-shake.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Listening to Iliana talk about her husband being in Iraq he looked up from his food. He watched her for a moment realizing how hard it must be on her to be raising a baby on her own while he was overseas in dangerous. "I'm sorry it must be tough without him" Nick knew what it was like, well the other side of it. Being a soldier definitely was a strain on all your relationships, but he at least never had to struggle with the kid side of things. "If you ever have any questions or need any help I'm around" He knew he had only just met her, but he also knew that he was probably one of the few people who could somewhat relate to her as he had been there.

He was trying to think of something to say about Iraq to kind of ease her mind but he couldn't, he watched his brother die over there and it was something as much as he wanted to forget he would never ever forget. He had smiled a bit as she talked about getting is straight from the horse's mouth. Nick was never one to believe things at face value from other people till he talked to the individual it was about, but he knew it could definitely change your judgement on that individual. "I'm sure you've heard stuff about me" Nick smiled weakly. He had been on a store the other day and he had caught a few whispers about him mentioning some kind of accident. He wasn't exactly sure what people were saying, but he knew it probably wasn't all true.

He laughed a bit at her last comment, "You know you can call me Nick..." He smiled to her gently. He watched her with the baby and couldn't help but smile. It made him think back to his life before, the army had been such a huge part of his life that it pretty much destroyed all his romantic relationships. The first time he came back from the war, he had had a beautiful fiancée and she made him choose her or the army. Unfortunately at this time the army was the only thing that kept him stable, over there he didn't have those nightmares because he was living in it. He picked the army, it was a safer choice for him. And after that he never had a serious relationship, he dated lots of girls, but in the end they all wanted him to pick them or the army and every time the army won. It was his life, and yet it had destroyed his life.

[Iliana Beaudean]

She gave a weak smile and nodded her head weakly. "Some days are worse than others, but.. Lily makes them a little easier now that I'm not all together alone." She said gently as she looked to Lily, shifting the bottle a little as the baby greedily suckled against the rubber nipple. She looked back up to him as he offered his services if she ever needed them. She imagined the time would come when she would need his help too. "I'll be sure to give you a call." She said gently as she shifted the baby a little, holding the bottle for a moment before she looked back up to Nick. Iliana usually just kept quiet when she was having one of those worse days. There really wasn't anyone in town who could relate to her situation at all. At least until now. "You know... when he first told me, I was so mad with him. No one had any clue about it and then at his graduation party with my parents and his family, he just blurts it out." She looked down to Lily for a moment as she began to slow in her feeding. "I didn't really understand why he never said anything or why he even joined, but I told myself I would have to deal. I didn't want to be the one to hold him back." She studied the baby thoughtfully for a long time, seeing Will in those chubby little baby features. Yes, Iliana had no doubt that Lily would look like her father when she was older. She sighed and looked up to Nick after a long time.

She smiled faintly and nodded her head. "I'm afraid so. It's kind of hard to work for the city mayor and not hear all the juicy gossip around town. Especially when it's about a new comer." She gave a soft grin. It was kind of unfortunate how true that was. Her mother, Mayor Nord, usually knew all the juicy gossip going around town just because of the people she socialized with and who visited the office on a regular basis. "I try not to let it shape my opinions of folks until after I've met them myself though." She looked to Lily, who had stilled her motions and was dozing. Iliana gently took the bottle from the baby and set it aside, shifting around a bit, she laid the baby against her shoulder, draping her blanket over her shoulder. Lily just laid her cheek against Iliana's shoulder, running a tiny hand through her hair to grab a handful. Iliana sighed and patted the baby's stomach, figuring she would have to ask for a to go box for her burger.

She gave a soft grin and nodded her head. "Good. And I do not wish to be called Mrs. Beaudean. I'm far to young for that just yet. " She looked back down to Lily, petting her head softly as she softly patted the baby's back soothingly. She often wondered what would have became of her if she hadn't stuck with Willie when he broke the news that he was going into the army. It probably would have saved her from a lot of heartbreak and stress, but she loved him. As much as she hated the worrying and the loneliness, she didn't think she would ever be able to leave him.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Nick felt bad for her, he couldn't imagine what it was like for her raising a baby and on her own. "Unfortunately I've only seen the other side of it, and I can tell you it's likely as hard for him as it is for you". He wasn't trying to really make her feel any better because he knew that was impossible, what he could do is reassure her that her husband was thinking of her. "Anytime, doesn’t matter if it's the middle of the night" he said with a smile. He was being genuine, he didn’t mind if it was 3am and she just needed someone to talk to about it. He quite as she continued to speak. "It's kind of...a hard thing to tell your family. I mean I was lucky and I was born and raised into it, but I know a lot of guys who never said anything to their family till they go it, just they wanted to be sure they were going before they freaked their family out" Watching her for a moment, "What about you though?" he in no means wanted to break up their relationship, "I mean, I was engaged once, and I held her back, and one day she told me it's her or the army, and foolish me picked the arm" His point was that it's wasn't fair for her to be held back either.

Nick laughed a bit, "Yeah well I heard some of the rumours about myself already" He smiled a bit, "And yes, the military did give me this job, they deemed me unfit to return to active duty..." he broke off, he hadn't realize he had given that much away but she was so comfortable to talk to, looking down at his plate he realized he couldn't just leave it like that, he would likely sound like some psycho. "...my brother died last year and you know I saw it happen...kind of messes you up" he shrugged a bit. Continuing on... "I can't live at home with my family, I tried to go back to the military and that didn't work, so here I am..." He gave her a half hearted smile. He hated the sympathy his family had given him, they should be blaming him for not looking after his brother, not telling him it wasn't his fault.

A smile spread across his face, "Iliana is it then" that wouldn't be hard to agree to. He could tell she was reflecting on some of her thoughts for the moment and he let her do it. It made him think about his ex fiancée, he kicked himself almost every day for picking the military. He hadn't known any better though, it was the first time he had come back from a tour and the military was the safety blanket he was too scared to let go of. Not to mention he had another 2 year contract with them so his fiancée really put him in a tight spot.

[Iliana Beaudean]

She looked to the baby when he told her it was just as hard for Will. She never doubted that. She knew it wasn't easy for Will. He's never seen his baby girl in person. Hasn't shared a bed with the woman he loves and married. She knew it wasn't easy for him. And her? It was tough raising Lily on her own. She wasn't going to lie about that. There were definitely days, and nights, where she could use a second set of hands to help her out. She looked back up to him, smiling weakly when he reassured her that any time was exactly that. "Thank you." She said gently as she shifted the baby a little. He had no idea how much it meant to her that he was willing to get up at ungodly hours to help her if she needed it. She stared at him for a long time when he explained. And then he asked her what about her. That was such an easy question to ask, and yet so difficult to answer. She looked to Lily for a moment then carefully set the baby in her carrier, covering her up.

"I'm not quite sure to be totally honest." She said gently as she laid her hand over the tiny belly in the carrier. "He's three years older, and I was only a freshmen when we met. I didn't really have a life then. " Really had to think about it for a minute. She wasn't sure if she ever felt like Will held her back. She was happy with her life, even if she was a little lonely and longing for her husband. She did miss out on some things. She never went to college. She's lived in Brooke Haven all her life. "There have been times where I question mine and Will's marriage, but I'm not so sure that he's held me back. And it's not my place to hold him back from the things he wants. Even if I am his wife. He has a right to do what he wants." She studied him for a long time before she looked back to Lily, stroking a finger along the tiny chubby hand. Iliana spent many a nights wondering if she really was happy. Don't get her wrong. She loved Lily, but she hated being so alone. "She wasn't much of a fiancé if she made you chose." She commented as she looked back to him.

She looked back up to Nick, studying him thoughtfully. She really hadn't been much of a fiance if she made him chose. Iliana didn't understood why Will wanted to be a military man, but that didn't give her the right to make him chose. He promised her once his contract was up he wouldn't do it anymore. He'd stay home with her and Lily. She thought he never would have made her that promise if it hadn't been for the baby. As much as that thought upset her, she never said anything. She tilted her head when he said he lost his brother. She couldn't imagine what that felt like. To actually witness the death of someone you love. She cleared her throat softly, looking down at her food. "I'm sorry." She murmured it softly as she looked back up to him. He had lived through the very thing she worried about for Will, and he watched his brother die in the process.

She looked to Lily for a moment as the baby dozed off for a short nap the back to Nick. "I never stop worrying. Some days may be better than others, but I never stop worrying. Except for maybe when I get a chance to talk to him on the phone." That was only because she knew for sure that he was okay when she was talking to him on the phone. She hated the not knowing. Of all the things there was to worry about the not knowing made her more worrisome.

[Nicholas Brandon]

Nick listened to her speak and smiled slightly, "Sounds like you really love him" It was actually nice to see. Nick knew how often relationships failed with those in the military, is was not easy being away from your loved ones. Looking up at her comment about his ex he shrugged, "She didn't make me choose Iliana, not really at least..." he paused his past up to the point wasn't hard for him to discuss, he didn't mind sharing those stories it was his brother he liked to avoid. "The first time I came back from Afghanistan I was really messed up. They try to prepare you, but no one can prepare you for what you have to do. I had nightmares, I was easily angered, broke things, and one night I almost let myself hit her. She had stuck with me through so much, all of it. When I finally got back to myself things were fine, I was going to be done with the army. Then I got offered another tour and she told me she couldn't watch me go through what I went through again. We ended things, because it was what was best for her." Yes he was sticking up for her, because he didn't blame her. He couldn't blame her for making him choose, he knew what he was like when he came home and it wasn't pretty.

After that Nick had realized what he said about the first time he had come home, looking at Iliana it clicked that this was her husband's first tour. He was worried that she would start to worry more about Will. "It's not like that for everyone though." he tacked on to the end of his ramblings. Listen to her apologize he shook his head, "Please don't apologize, or feel bad for me or anything. This is what I came here for, to get away from that." he didn't like to think about his brother it kind of put his brain on auto pilot. "It's my fault, and people shouldn't feel bad for me when it's my fault" He stopped as he realized he had gone further than he wanted too, and it knocked him back to reality.

Turning his attention back to her and Will was a relief as he didn't want to think about his brother. He smiled weakly at her, "I wish I could tell you not to worry, but I can't. I'm sure he's smart, and that will go a long way in keeping himself safe." It was very true, although his brother was smart it didn't help him. The problem was both him and Nick could be a little reckless at times and think with their heart before their head and the end result of that was a death. It would be easier for Will; he would care deeply about his team, but never as strong as brotherly bond. Nick swore he would never find himself fighting a war with his brothers at his side. Over there you had to be able to think about saving yourself, the minute you were willing to sacrifice your own life without a thought for someone else you will suffer heartache.