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Post by chris on May 29, 2010 9:12:50 GMT -5
Chris sat on the steps of the school building, surveying the courtyard for a moment, but for the moment no one was in sight. Everyone else would probably be having lunch, which suited him just fine. He had wolfed down his meal as quickly as he could and hurried out as fast as he could without running.
The mess hall was pretty large, but after classes it filled up fast and he didn't want to be around all those people - or rather he didn't want all those people to be around him, so he was often the first to enter the mess hall, and the first to leave.
He would bet the others called him a weirdo for it, a crazy loner perhaps, but they had no idea. They didn't have to feel the anxiety, the heart pounding in their chests, the dizziness and shortness of breath that overcame him when someone came too close or a room was too small.
So now he sat on those steps, knowing that classes were over and there was no one in the building behind him - in front of him a wide open courtyard. It was a pretty good place to do his homework.
Chris dug his chemistry textbook out of his messenger bag, followed by a block of post-it notes and some pencils. Chemistry wasn't half bad. At least it had practical applications hiding in all that stupid theory.
He licked his lips as he opened the book at the page he had marked and began to read through the required text, from time to time pasting a sticky note to a page and scribbling some notes on it. He would need some short version of what the book actually said to get through the next test - a memory aid, something that helped him understand what he was supposed to learn, something that summed it up in his own words. That had always helped him, and it added some structure to what he was doing, something he could control. And - especially - something to focus on when he next was forced into a cramped classroom.
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 29, 2010 12:30:14 GMT -5
The worst part about Willow Brooke in Kirsten’s opinion was having to waste time with classes and studying. She’d only been there a few days and the classes were already starting to irritate her. There was hardly in point in them from where she was standing. All that mattered to her was getting through this place with as little changing as possible. There was nothing to learn from her experience here or about her past ‘mistakes’. When she’d been caught with the Acid and Marijuana they hadn’t even been used. Kirsten never had the chance to smoke the rolls, much less get hooked on them. Wasn’t this place for students that really needed massive amounts of help? Not someone in the wrong place at the wrong time? Sighing under her breath, Kirsten ran a hand through her blonde hair, freeing it from the tight band that held it captive. It tumbled down her back and flickered in the air against the light breeze.
Shrugging her backpack strap up higher on her shoulder, Kirsten glanced over at the Lunch Hall. Her stomach growled but being inside a new place with strangers on every side of her didn’t appeal to her. It terrified her to say the least. The whole place terrified her. She was miles away from home with no friends or allies. Forced here by a judge that thought he was being clever since she knew how to ride a horse.
Roaming her eyes along the courtyard it looked pretty bare. Aside from a tree here and there, it was vacant. It seemed most students were eating lunch or in class. One of which she should be doing. Thankfully, Kirsten had planned ahead for just this event. As her feet walked towards the steps to the school, she frozen in place seeing a guy already doing what her mind had been planning. Chilling on the steps getting some work done.
Squaring off her shoulders as if going into battle, Kirsten sat down at the last step and dropped her backpack beside her legs. With her back to the guy, her eyes stared down at the black and green Converse that covered her feet. They stood out against the washed out cement of the walk way. For a moment, her mind blanked while letting her mind slip away to think of whatever. But the sound of her stomach growling awoken that powerful need to eat soon.
Pulling out a Granny Smith apple from her bag, Kirsten ignored the idea of someone a couple steps behind her as she bite into the apple. A smile formed across her lips as her eyes shut momentarily to savor the sourly sweet juice and the crunch of the apple flesh between her teeth. Heaven.
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Post by chris on May 29, 2010 12:58:03 GMT -5
The first thing Chris noticed was a shadow cast over him and he leaned back, his legs tightening to get ready to push him up and walk him away. But the girl sat down about as far away from him as was possible on these steps and he relaxed a little.
He concentrated on his homework for a moment more, tried to ignore her presence while he shuffled as far towards the edge of the stairs as he could without falling off them.
Then he heard the crushing, juicy sound of someone biting into an apple, just as he had started to feel a little more comfortable and decided to ignore her presence for the moment. Hadn't that girl something better to do with her time than be just here right now?
He cast a look at her from the corner of his eyes and what he saw wasn't half bad, even if he could only see her back. Small - but there wasn't anything wrong with that. He wasn't the tallest guy around. Nice hair. And just outside what he would have called his 'danger zone' if he had been pressed to describe the personal space he could not stand being violated.
Now that he thought about it, he could vaguely recall seeing her in class. And she didn't avoid him now, but still kept her distance. That was a good start. Half a year ago he would have made a pass at her, but girl or not, attractive or not, he could not do that now.
"Hey," he muttered instead.
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 29, 2010 13:26:38 GMT -5
If the guy behind her was in any discomfort, Kirsten hadn’t meant to cause it. In fact she was ignoring him just as much as he was ignoring her presence. Her focus was directed at the apple and not to let the juices to drip down her face. Being embarrassed by eating a fruit sloppily wasn’t on her to-do list for that day. Closing her eyes, she continued to munch around the apple getting lost in her own little world. She pictured herself at home with her father sitting on the couch watching a movie. There was a smile on his face for a change, her twin brothers were home from college for the weekend and laughter hung in the air from a joke Allen had just made. Even her mother was there laughing along, impossible but it was a nice thought. That fantasy would have continued on if she hadn’t bitten into the core of the apple, a pout sat on her lips, still hungry. What else had she thrown in her bag before racing out of the dorms? Licking her lips, still tasting the apple Kirsten glanced around for a trash can. There was one about five feet away, just out of reach. Laziness over took her body while glaring at the trashcan. As if doing so would force the object to move closer to her instead of the other way around. Sitting up straight, she arched her back slightly and shot the core at the trashcan like it was a basketball. Cursing, she watched it bounce off the rim to land on the ground. The now trash seemed to mock her lack of skills outside of a saddle.
Pretending that hadn’t happened, Kirsten leaned back on the steps so her elbows supported her body on the step above her. Leaning her head back, she glanced up at the sky to see it was mostly over cast with a ray of sun here and there. A rather depressing day in her book. A voice broke through her roaming mind making her to glance over her shoulder at the guy. He looked familiar in that since of seeing someone once but not paying enough attention to know for sure.
He being cute was a definite plus on the other hand. “Hey.” There was an edge to her voice, it was intentional just a product of a bad day and lack of coffee that morning. Having classes early didn’t help either. Giving him an obvious once over, she flipped her hair to keep it from whipping her in the face from the wind. The growl from her stomach created a very heavy blush to shoot across Kirsten’s face as she scrambled for her bag to look for whatever food she’d thrown in there.
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Post by chris on May 29, 2010 14:07:29 GMT -5
Chris looked at her just long enough to catch a glimpse of her eyes, then he looked away and closed his book. The edge in her voice had not been lost on him, and there were enough other places he could find some solitude. He could just hang out somewhere and bide his time since the mess hall emptied, then settle down there for a while before they kicked him out at closing time.
He cast a glance at her again from the corner of his eyes and what little he saw before he averted his eyes again he liked. But if she was more interested in the contents of bag he wouldn't disturb her longer than he had to.
As absorbed as he was in those thoughts he completely missed her blush and her stomach's growl.
"Guess I better give you some pricavy, huh?"
He placed the textbook down on the step by his side and began to put his pencils and post-its back into his bag, every single piece going into exactly the place it had been before. It wasn't like it mattered much to him where he did his homework, as long as he could avoid people. All it would mean was a delay of a few minutes and he had no intention of going anywhere near the horses as he was supposed to this afternoon. That gave him all the time in the world.
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 29, 2010 14:30:03 GMT -5
Kirsten hadn’t meant to sound pissy at the guy. It wasn’t his fault for whatever had happened to her that morning and in the past. A lot had happened to her, not as terrible as some people, but enough that her teenage mind wanted to just implode and drift away. Every time she opened up to someone they let her down. It was beginning to wear on her nerves. The guy seemed to have caught the nasty tone in her voice as his eyes glanced away from her instantly while shutting his book. Was he leaving? That hadn’t been her plan, to make him leaven when he’d been there first.
Finding a fruit by the foot roll-up, Kirsten scrunched her eyebrows together at the rare sight. Today seemed to have a consistent theme of fruit for her. Very odd, considering she loved candy so much that was normally what she went for before thinking about something healthy for her body. Well, the fruit by the foot wasn’t healthy but it was still fruity.
As she tore into the packaging, Kirsten gazed over at him. “I could use a little company...if you don’t mind of course.” Some company was better than complete silence in a large courtyard that was vacant and looking like a ghost town. She wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, or a best friend, but having one familiar person she could identify would ease her nerves. Unrolling the artificial fruity substance, she offered him a weak smile trying to get the guy to relax an inch. The smile felt foreign and only lasted a second if two. “I’m Kirsten.”
Watching him place his stuff away, Kirsten sighed and turned away from him to stare at the wrapper. So much for a friendly face in the mass of people that went to Willow Brooke. It had been worth a shot. Chewing on the food, she rolled it over her tongue to savor the flavor of strawberries and raspberries. It only seemed to create another craving in her body for the real thing. Too bad her parents hadn’t sent money with her. They were too afraid she’d find a way to buy some type of drug.
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Post by chris on May 29, 2010 14:46:57 GMT -5
He watched her closely for a minute. Company would be nice. Someone to hang out with for a moment, like he used to with his buddies back home. But she was probably some suicidal crazy chick or a junky. That seemed to be what the girls here all seemed to be.
But at least she wasn't making any moves to come closer. That was a good start.
Chris took a deep breath and closed his eyes while he exhaled. "Okay," he softly offered, under his breath, speaking more to himself than her.
"I'm Chris."
His eyes still closed he leaned back and tried to relax. He knew he had a problem. There was no way he could lie to himself about something as big as this was. He had hit people - hard - for just coming a little too close for his comfort. He hadn't meant to, but it had happened.
"Just..." he began, then hesitated. Admitting something to himself and admitting it to someone else were two entirely different things. Telling someone could mean they would try to comfort him - and that would mean them getting closer.
"I... Just stay where you are right now and I will stay. Okay?"
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 29, 2010 15:14:21 GMT -5
It shouldn’t have delighted Kirsten so much too finally have someone to keep company for a moment. But it did and for a brief moment it showed in her eyes. She doubted he would have noticed if she suddenly started stripping from how far away he sat and kept avoiding looking at her. The ‘okay’ he gave was faint and could have been mistaken for wind in the grass. It was strange to meet a guy that was so isolated and distant. That thought poofed out her head while thinking of where she was at. Everyone had a story to tell. The way the guy acted must have been for a good reason.
What kind of drugs was he smoking? Because Kirsten was more than willing to try some. A junkie, maybe? He seemed pretty paranoid to her. “Well Chris, pleasure to meet you.” Saluting him with the roll up, she took another bite from it. Her body titled slightly towards him, not enough to move from her spot but so she could hear him better. Because when it came down to it, she was pretty lazy when not motivated by a horse or someone she honestly cared about.
Chris seemed to relax, so Kirsten continued to keep the silence since they were at least introduced now and not complete strangers. That didn’t make them friends but it was better than sitting near a known face with no name to go along with it. In no time, the roll up was gone and her stomach seemed to have gone quiet for the moment. If she hadn’t had sex in months she would have sworn she was pregnant from how much she consumed lately. Was she just eating because she was bored? Or was it depression? Nothing could have surprised Kirsten either way.
Hearing that voice again, her head turned to see him as Chris spoke. Puzzlement evident on Kirsten’s face at the odd request, but shrugging she nodded. “Fair enough.” It saved her time and effort about getting to close to people as well. It was best to keep ones distance since there was no guarantee her own temper would hold up before she was thrown out of Willow. Bending over, she searched through her back and pulled out a sketch pad along with a wooden pencil. Flipping the pad open, her fingers made light work of killing some time.
“So what class are you heading to next?” Keeping her eyes on the paper, Kirsten went into light conversation mode. She would keep it as far away as possible from sensitive topics to herself and hold herself back from asking why Chris didn’t want people close to him. The strokes across the pad seemed to have no meaning since it was the beginning phase, but she did have an image in her mind. A horse. One that had been pointed out to her by a guide the first day she’d gotten there. Goldie.
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Post by chris on May 29, 2010 23:53:29 GMT -5
Chris opened his eyes and studied her closely. But she made no move to get any closer, stayed where she was, and honored his request. After a moment Chris took another deep breath, then began to get his stuff out of the bag again.
"I'm done with classes for the day." He tried to find where he had closed his textbook, and followed the trail of post-its until he found his last note. He read through another paragraph, added another note, and turned a few pages to find out how long this chapter was. Far too long for his taste he discovered and frowned.
He looked up and around, then back at Kirsten. He couldn't really see what she was drawing, but she seemed confident in what she was doing, as if she wasn't doing this for the first time. And while Chris had no real talent for drawing or painting, he could appreciate someone doing something creative. It wasn't bookish stuff after all, and that agreed with him.
But her question had brought something besides classes to his mind again. Looking at his watch, Chris discovered he had more than enough time before his afternoon schedule kicked in. That was an added benefit of eating fast.
"Just doing a bit of homework for now," he picked up the conversation. "But I bet someone expects me to do some of the horsey stuff later." He shook his head and sighed. He could tell the front and back of a horse apart, but that was about it. That and that horses were huge and heavy. Just scratching the surface of the thought what could go wrong with such a massive creature around gave him goosebumps and made his heart beat a little faster.
"Might try to skip that part and go down to the lake instead."
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 30, 2010 9:50:26 GMT -5
A weak smile turned up from Kirsten’s sour face, lightening it up and showing that she was a truly beautiful girl when she wasn’t trying to act tough and pushing everyone away. The air around them seemed to ease up as Chris realized she wasn’t going to make an attempt to move closer. Some people were just more particular about their personal space than others. Not that she minded not getting close. If she had her way, Kirsten would have left the place the moment she got there. Sadly, when someone is ordered to a place by a judge instead of going to Juvy the school tends to keep any even closer watch on that person.
“Really?” Putting down her pencil for a moment, Kirsten pulled out her schedule. It was really only her third or so day being there. The schedule was a little strange to get use to after going to a public school until then. The classes were shorter so that the students had more time to watch over the horses and get in therapy time, which from her schedule seemed like she had that right before dinner. What a mood killer, to go see some guy and talk about her feelings right before eating. It was going to be another night of eating apples and peanut butter in her room. Skimming over the paper, a twinge of excitement raced up her spine. Her classes were over and she had to report to the stables after lunch.
Storing the sheet away, her eyes glanced over at Chris with her mouth open as if to speak, but quickly shut it when she spotted his textbook out and taking notes on stick notes about whatever the class book was on. Turning her back once more, she picked up the pencil and returned to the drawing while chewing on her lower lip. Her fingers smudged a line here and there to create shading. To be honest, the only talent Kirsten had in art was drawing animals. People were too complicated for her to attempt and always seemed to bore her after awhile.
“Does this place give a lot of homework?” If that was the case, Kirsten could promise to raise a hell of shit for the teachers. Being at Willow Brooke was one thing, but having to do work on top of handling a horse was a little much in her opinion. More than a little much, a ton. Pausing from the drawing, she glanced back over at Chris. “I’m guessing you don’t like horses much, huh?” As she spoke she titled the picture slightly closer to her chest to hide the image. She couldn’t get the image of Goldie out of her mind with the mare’s silky palomino coat, a golden body with a whitish tail and mane.
As much as Kirsten would have loved to go with Chris to the lake, something told her he preferred to be alone and she really wanted to find out which horse she was stuck with. If she was forced to be with the thoroughbred she’d seen in the pasture there would be no stopping the water works. It wouldn’t be pretty to say the least. There was no more room in Kirsten’s heart for another one after Carmel.
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Post by chris on May 30, 2010 10:34:10 GMT -5
"No idea, really." Chris shrugged when asked about homework. "Depends on the teacher, I guess, but it's doable." He hadn't been around long, so he wasn't entirely certain, but the main focus of the whole place seemed to be the horses, not the classes.
He turned his head to Kirsten when she asked about horses and smiled a little. She wasn't like some of the other girls he had run into who were either aggressive or depressive. She seemed like a normal girl, now that he watched her and listened to her. And attractive too. The kind of girl he would never have had a chance with back home, even before his accident.
"It's not that I dislike horses," he explained. "I just don't have any idea about horses whatsoever."
He put the pencil between the pages and half-closed the textbook. He sounded bit less relaxed, a bit more anxious when he added: "All I know about horses is that they are big and heavy. There's all sorts of things that can go wrong, and I don't wanna be there when that happens."
His fingers closed firmer around his book and a drop of sweat appeared on his brow. he had never heard about someone actually being trapped under a horse, but one thing was certain - riding required being about as close to a horse as possible, and that meant the creature intruding as much into his personal space as was possible. That was something he didn't look forward to at all, even if it happened in a wide open space like the pastures. Besides, the horse they had assigned him - Shadow - seemed to be doing fine out in the pastures, so why should he even get near the animal?
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 30, 2010 11:08:27 GMT -5
Hearing that the homework was doable helped eased that spark of aggression that had formed inside Kirsten’s mind. Handling a horse and doing a ton of homework wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Even if the place needed classes because teenagers were required to go to school, the place was suppose to have it’s focus on the horses. “Thank god.” Sighing softly, she flipped her hair out of her face before glancing up at the sky to watch the grey clouds roll by. They didn’t look threatening enough to cause rain, maybe a sprinkle if anything fell from them.
The smile on Chris’s face was small but it was enough to force a heavy blush to spread over Kirsten’s face and turn her eyes down to the pad. Her fingers nervously twiddled with the pencil in her hand, twirling and twisting it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world instead of the cute guy that sat a couple steps behind her. The lack of social skills came from spending too long with her father in the stables with horses. She knew how to be aggressive for a competition but towards guys took more thought and effort. That didn’t mean she didn’t know how to flirt, it’s like an instinct in every girl.
As the subject went back to the horses, the rosy color faded from her cheeks while she lifted her head up to see Chris. “Aren’t the instructors there to help out with that problem?” From her basic understanding of the school, Kirsten had seen a teacher talking to a group of students in the pasture while holding a saddle as if pointing out the different parts. Weren’t they there to help the student body to get past that nervousness? Or had Chris hadn’t had a chance to get close to his horse?
Reading someone’s body language wasn’t an art Kirsten had perfected but she think she got the idea of where Chris was going with his statement. “You’re afraid of them.” It was a dead on statement, not meant to insult him but just an observation she’d made. Laying the pad flat in her lap, Kirsten exposed the image, she’d only finished Goldie’s head and neck the rest was still in sketch mode. “They can feel your fear. Whenever you go up to yours, be confident. Even if you have doubts.” That had been the only way she’d gotten Carmel to trust her. Carmel had been very strong willed even at such a young age, attempting to throw Kirsten from his back multiple times.
Licking her lips, Kirsten feared she’d over spoken and forced her head back down to allow her hair to shield her face. Swallowing, she started to wish she’d thrown a water bottle in her bag as well. Her throat felt dry and scratch as she shifted around on the step trying to get comfortable once more but founding it almost impossible.
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Post by chris on May 30, 2010 12:12:45 GMT -5
Chris pulled up his legs and rested his arms on his knees. Showing confidence was a lot easier said than done. If he could just switch off his fear like that he wouldn't be here to begin with. He would be hanging out with his buddies right now and enjoy the spring sun at a beach in Florida, instead of sitting here.
"Nice drawing," he muttered, but he actually meant it, even if his tone didn't completely show it, sounding a bit absent-mindedly. As far as he could tell, Kirsten was pretty talented when it came to drawing, but he had bigger things on his mind.
"Look." He turned his body towards her and looked her in the eye before she turned her head away. Having some company was nice, especially if it was a beautiful girl like her, but it would be unfair if he pretended to be something, or someone, he was not.
"I can't help it, okay? I just don't like people, or horses, or whatever come too close. And if horses can sense fear they will always sense that, no matter what brave a face I put on, right?" As he spoke a little twang of southern accent sneaked into his words, clouded his speech, marking him as a fish out of water in more than one sense. How much farther away from home could his parents have sent him, really? Montana of all the places in the world. Why not Alaska or Greenland for that matter?
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Post by Kirsten Luna on May 30, 2010 12:33:12 GMT -5
Zoning out of the world, Kirsten focused on getting the rest of the horse finished. Or at least half of it’s torso. The pencil scrapped across the page while she licked her lips to fight off the dryness that had started to irritate them. Licking them wasn’t helping the problem, but she did it anyways. Seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chris pull himself closer as if blocking out the world from his mind. It seemed her words of advice hadn’t done a thing to help. That was no surprise, she wasn’t a shrink to help with emotional or mental problems. She was a teenager with her own problems and worries.
“Thanks.” Kirsten didn’t hear a single ounce of honesty in his voice at the compliment so didn’t take it for much. It was deemed worthless in her mind. Staring down at the images, it looked flawed in her eyes. One eye looked bigger than the other and the mane looked awkward since she had attempted to draw it blowing in the wind. It was a very life like picture, but to Kirsten it looked fake and not even worth finishing.
Her eyes were still staring at the picture after he told her to ‘look’. What for? Peeking out through her veil of hair she heard his voice go on as if Kirsten hadn’t looked the other way. Glaring at him, every wall she had created for just this purpose snapped in place. Her eyes hardened and seemed to stare him down as if sneering at a rolly polly that go in her way. “So that’s it huh? You’re just going to continue be afraid and not face it.” If she could have breathed fire it would have been shooting out of her mouth as her own twang surfaced from months of neglect People like Chris frustrated Kirsten. They never learned from mistakes and tried to get past them. They fell off the horse once and cried, refusing to get back on.
Throwing her drawing pad and pencil in her backpack, Kirsten stood up and slung it over her shoulder. Her anger kept licking at her mind and heart making her want to kick Chris square in the jaw, from her angle she could manage it. “The sooner you face your fears, the sooner you get to leave. So suck it up, act happy in this place to get the hell out.” Her face was flaming red, not from blushing but from raw anger. There was no sweetness in her voice anymore, it had drained away until only Kirsten the 5’ 3” blonde pit-bull stood at the base of the stairs.
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Post by chris on May 30, 2010 13:04:50 GMT -5
Okay, now what had gotten into this girl? Not that it mattered much, as her aggressiveness drained any trace of friendliness from Chris's face. He had done his best to open up to her and she just snapped at him? That chick had some serious issues, but that was a thought only half-formed in the back of his mind as he sprang to his feet and threw down his textbook, the pencil tumbling out from it, clattering down the steps.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Who do you think you are? Doctor Freud?" His voice was raised almost to a shout and he took a step forward towards her, his anger momentarily overruling his fears.
His arm snapped up and he pointed at her. "Look, I was trying to be nice, tried to make a friend as much as I could, but if you want to be all snappy, damn fine by me."
He had thought he could actually make a friend here, connect with someone in this new place, but just because he didn't like to get close to horses she had come down on him like the wrath of heaven. Whatever was wrong with that girl, she sure had some anger-management issues - but right now, so had he. All he had wanted was to be left alone, and just when he had settled on having some company she got all aggressive - and over horses of all things.
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