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Post by vanlouden on Oct 12, 2008 13:02:14 GMT -5
anthony marke van louden. *{.{ contemplating all the things you've never said }.}* “Ok, the physical, and more then likely illegal ones.” He shook his head a little bit. Even after he said that, he thought about the legal ones too, they were just as bad. Grind up a few pills and you got a short but pretty nice high... Not that he’d know that or anything... Actually, there was no hiding it. He lived his life by drugs. He struggled to deal without them and made himself trouble when he tried to get them. He’s nearly lost his life over a pack of cigarettes. Was it worth it? No, they were not worth it to anyone else, but to someone who needs to toxins to function in a civil way, it is worth it. He doesn’t like the aching and the pains and the trembling and the suffering his withdraws bring on. No one thinks they’re fun, but he refuses to tolerate such things. He’d rather run for his life with three cigarettes in hand then suffer for a few days. It didn’t make sense, but it was how his mind worked and there was no way to really stop him. He chose not to speak to her comment because he really didn’t know what to say that wasn’t negative. He didn’t like horses; they still freaked him out a little bit. Bruce was ok, but he was so... He was so opposite of anything that Anthony was and he didn’t know if he was able to deal with such a thing. The staff here expected him to just do this by his own will, but he didn’t want too. He didn’t want to take care of a creature that had no meaning to him. It’s not his... It’ll go to someone else as soon as he leaves, so what does he care?
He gave a little less half-hearted laugh this time, but there was still a little hesitation. “Where and when, I’ll be there.” Anthony replied with a smirk as he watched her lay her head back down. He stretched his arms a little bit and popped his back, turning to the right and then to the left. He pressed his palms to the small of his back and bent back a little, popping it a few more times. He talked and it was extremely hard for him to hide the anger that boiled underneath his words. He believed what he said with all his heart and he’d been like that since the trouble started with his foster parents. He couldn’t turn back once he’d crossed those few lines and he kept stepping into the darkness of life. He wasn’t able to turn back and it made him bitter to the world. He was more of a hateful person than loving. He could be nice and gentle, yes, but he hates so much of the world around him. Behind everything he says and does, there’s either a bad memory or there’s a feeling of hate towards someone. He sat quietly then, almost glad that she had nothing to say to him. It wasn’t that he wanted to sit in silence; it was just that he was given the chance to cool off and to not say anything. Sometimes he’d rather be left to his own thoughts then be able to argue with someone. His black eyes rose slightly as she spoke, listening to her carefully. He forced the anger out of his voice to just bring the general questioning tone. “Who? How do I find this person that cares about me?” he asked softly, his question being real. He wanted to know who this person was and where they’d been all his life, and for some reason... as he thought all of this, he couldn’t look at Adrienne. He wanted to know so badly, but by looking away it was almost a subconscious way of saying ‘no, don’t tell me’. He shifted almost uncomfortably, but didn’t look at her again.
He let the awkward silence fill the space between them, absently raising his hand to his mouth to start biting his nails. He was staring at the floor as though if he were to focus long enough then he might stare through it, but was really focused on distracting himself. He just picked the rest of his black nail polish off and went to work once it was gone. He couldn’t stand the taste of that shit.
•• words 5736 •• mood curious, afraid, shy •• stats done
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Post by Adrienne Dionas on Oct 12, 2008 13:44:27 GMT -5
She smirked softly and looked out the window she lay beside. She looked to the stars in thought. She always went for the natural high instead of the illegal drug- and even occasionally, legal drug- induced highs. That's what ridding did to her. The wind in her hair. She felt as if she could fly, and she wasn't killing brain cells in the process either. She looked to him and laughed weakly at him, her violet eyes momentarily twinkling playfully.
She hated awkward silences and that's exactly what was growing between them. It had been nice talking like they were until now, and she had been enjoying it too. All good things had to come to an end though.She hated it, but they usually did. She looked up at his questioning and frowned softly before she laid her head back down on her arms. "You may have not found them yet, but they're out there." She said softly. What kind of life was that to say that there was absolutely no one who cared about him? It certainly couldn't have been good. She looked up at him. She wished he would actually look at her. She slowly sat up and stood brushing away the hay that was her hair and sticking to her clothes. "I guess... I should get going." She said softly. She figured it was time to leave before she did or said something that would get both of them upset.
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Post by vanlouden on Oct 12, 2008 18:35:50 GMT -5
anthony marke van louden. *{.{ contemplating all the things you've never said }.}* She spoke to him and he still didn’t look up at her. He wasn’t satisfied with that answer. Something inside him had almost hoped she’d say that she cared about him but that thought was crushed when she didn’t say that. He kind of reasoned with himself and came up with a couple reasons why she wouldn’t have said such a thing and he understood. He looked up when she was moving a bit more than either of them had been this time. His black eyes watched her move to sit and then stand up. He coughed slightly into the crook of his arm, almost having pleaded with her to stay but he kept himself quiet and looked up at her. She stood a bit of a distance away and she’d go even further when she left. He shifted his eyes slightly but put them back on her as she paused before saying that she should get going. Maybe she didn’t want too. He didn’t know, but he was kind of hesitant to ask. He didn’t want to get in a fight or have both of them upset. He’d forced his anger down again, but it was still there, it was just settled and concentrated instead of lurking in every word that left his lips. For a little while he looked up at her, just watching before standing and speaking quietly. He didn’t like speaking up at people when he could help it.
“Do you wanna hang out tomorrow...” His voice was so small that it seemed unreal to him. He coughed again, very gently into the crook of his arm, and finished his question, “Maybe? If you’re not busy of course...” he spoke the words in a much clearer voice that didn’t sound so small and timid, but it was still soft because being too loud would just seem odd to him. He stood calmly, his hands clasped together in front of him for some odd reason.
•• words 328 •• mood shy •• stats done
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Post by Adrienne Dionas on Oct 12, 2008 20:14:19 GMT -5
She wanted to say that she cared about him. Sure, she didn't really know him, but she thought he was a pretty decent guy. He was the first person she'd had a real in depth conversation with in nearly a year. She was just a little too afraid he would say something mean if she were to say she cared, so she kept her mouth shut. She ran a hand through her straight black hair and watched as he stood. She looked out the window in thought for a moment before she looked back up at him.
"Promise you won't blow me off again?" She asked softly looking up at him through those dark mysterious violet eyes. She wouldn't admit that she'd felt a little hurt when she realized he'd just run off. She had been trying to make a friend, and he just ran off while she was left to clean Bruce up and take care of him. He was a sweet horse. She thought that maybe he was just the treatment that Anthony needed really. And Calliope was the medicine she needed. Small doses and eventually, she would be back in the saddle. She hoped. She missed riding.
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Post by vanlouden on Oct 12, 2008 21:33:56 GMT -5
anthony marke van louden. *{.{ contemplating all the things you've never said }.}* A mental ‘ouch’ ran through his head because he knew that was rude. Sure, at the time he hadn’t cared because he didn’t want to be there but now it kind of kicked him in the ass. She could have said no purely because of how he’d behaved earlier today, but she hadn’t just said no straight out. He hoped that maybe she’d say yes if he promised, but that didn’t always work. “I won’t... I’m sorry about that.” he said quietly, looking right back into those deep violet eyes without hesitation. He hid the smirk that threatened to play his features. He wasn’t afraid to look her in the eyes now, because it was a pretty honest answer that he’d been able to get out. He wasn’t really sure how sorry he was, but he supposed saying it wouldn’t hurt since he at least realized how rude it was to do such a thing to her. She hadn’t been being mean to him; she’d just been teaching him what he refused to learn. He couldn’t hold that against her because he’d brought himself into it. He stood quietly for a minute, wondering if he should say anything else to her. He didn’t want to keep her if she wanted to leave.
“I hope you have a good night.” he said at last, not knowing what else to say to her because he wasn’t going to stop her from leaving. He back up a little bit, watching her just in case maybe she’d stay, but he sat down, figuring that she wouldn’t.
•• words 262 •• mood hopeful •• stats done
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Post by Adrienne Dionas on Oct 12, 2008 22:00:19 GMT -5
Her gaze didn't waver as he made the promise and said he was sorry. Whether he would actually keep that promise was up to her, but it had kind of hurt the first time he did it, so she hoped he wouldn't do it again. He could see he was sincere in his apology though. How sincere she supposed she never would know. She decided she would leave him in a little suspense for the moment. She was going to say yes, but she wanted him to wonder for a few moments. She walked over to her things and gathered them up. She put her sketch book up and her pencils and stopped next to him as she made her way to the ladder.
She looked down at him smiling softly. She hadn't been expecting him to say that. "You too." She said as she started to carefully climb down the ladder. She stopped when the floor was to her waist and smiled at him. "I'll see you tomorrow. You know where to find me." She said before she made her decent. She would more than likely work Calliope out on the loung line tomorrow. Adrienne didn't want to push herself too much.
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